The “soul friendships” can be difficult to cultivate.  As it states  in the chapter, they can take time to develop, but usually there is some  sort of commonality between the two people in which the friendship can  develop into one of the soul.  The example in the chapter in which Mark  Vernon uses for this is between Montaigne and La Boetie.  Montaigne is  said to state that individuals that are capable of soul friendship are  rare and thus the soul friendship even rarer.  He goes on to say that  they are a force of destiny.  However, Mark Vernon points out that the  friendship in which Montaigne and La Boetie formed was based off of  timing and the period in which the lived.  Both had similar, and  dangerous points of view for the time, so when the met their friendship  already had a foundation to built upon.  This is an important aspect for  the development of a friendship of the soul because without some form  of commonality in where mutual respect is given the friendship cannot  develop into something deeper.  The author also uses Emerson and Fuller  as an example, even all Emerson uses the “phrase divine friendship.”   When they firs met Emerson did not initially take a liking to her,  however he soon had a great respect for her because of her mind.  This  then laid a common ground and mutual respect was able to form and then  deepen into a friendship of the soul.  I think it is important for  friends of the soul to have a foundation of mutual respect, and by  having this they are less inclined to be upset or the friendship failing  when the other person is completely honest with them.  In fact, that  should be something that is welcomed, because they respect each other to  such a degree that it goes beyond petty indifferences.  I can say that I  have one such friend, I may not call our friendship a “soul friendship”  but it is close.  I respect him and he respects me and we have always  been able to be honest with each other.  It is a friendship where,  although there is still and element of self-loving, we can see past our  differences and in a way that makes the friendship more meaningful.  The  reason I say this is that I can count on him to real me back in when I  am being a little stubborn, or when I cannot see the truth of a matter  because I am blinded by some emotion.  The key to is to be honest and  respectful and to understand that difference of opinions is what makes  the friendship more than just someone I can be around and be polite to.          

References

Vernon, M. (2010). The Meaning Friendship. New York : Palgrave Macmillian.